November 12th, 2007

sad

How I am doing emotionally.

My friend, pattytoo asked me how I am doing emotionally. This is a rather complex question, so I'm going to answer it in three parts. All three parts are existing simultaneously. I've never said I am simple. :)
  1. The first part is something that I sent to cindygerb this weekend. It's a part of the journey of recovery:
    Oh, soulsmatch, why did you have to demand more than I could give? Why did you feel the need to restrict my love to only you? You've ripped out my heart. You've ripped out my soul.
    Oh, I hurt so much but I can't be me and give you what you want. If I don't have me, I don't have you either.
  2. I am forging my Self back into coherence again. I was dissipating and expending myself trying to resolve the issue with Cindy and I. I'm taking those parts and bringing them back into my chaotic whole again.

  3. I am rebuilding my social network that I ignored and let atrophy for too long. I've lost people but I've also gained too. It's turning into a friendly field of delight with a number of shiny bright people sprinkled into it.
Does this make sense? Does it answer the questions that people have been having about my current emotional make-up?