Not only did I do a decent job but my proposal came through unscathed. I fielded many and sundry questions about why we should do it the way I was proposing and I was able to intelligently explain why the other suggestions wouldn't work as well. I talked about many of the finer points of LDAP, how it is different than a relational database, and the challenges involved in data representation in a DIT.
The reason that this is an especially feel-good situation is that I expected to fall flat on my face and have to hem and haw and mostly tell people that I'll get back to them later. I didn't have to do any of that. It was all resolved at this meeting.
Why I had that feeling requires some back-story.
So, as I mentioned in someone else's journal about a month to six weeks ago, I'm constantly amazed and amused that I seem to succeed in doing what I'm trying to do much of the time. Possibly from ADD/AFD, possibly from my values being vastly different from the über culture, I'm generally expect to fail at what I try to do. Each time I attempt a non-trivial task, I expect that I'm going to miss some vital element of what I'm going to do and completely screw up. And by failing, I will prove, by that failure, that every other success I've ever had has been a fluke and not did I fail but I'm a failure.
This mindset persists even though my history is that I generally succeed and that when I fuck-up, I generally do what I can to make it right again. Many times the fuck-ups can be blessing in disguise...
What keeps me going even with this mindset is my firm and unwavering belief in thought creates reality. I know that if I constantly think about how I am going to fail that I will Pygmalionate myself and of course I will fail. This won't be due to whatever causes the failures that I expect but due to my own stupidity in expecting myself to fail. So, I expect to succeed even though there is a portion of my brain that realizes that if I do succeed that it's a fluke that will eventually catch up with me.
I'm somewhat fascinated with this phenomena because no matter how much I meta-program myself on this topic, it just won't go away. All I can do is an end-run around it.