But another part of it is that I have a variety of friends that are going through rather stressful times themselves and I've got to much on my plate to be of much help. This bothers me but I know that I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others. If I fall apart, I can't help anyone else, so I have to take care of me first. It's selfish but it's the only strategy that works on the long term.
In that regard, I want to direct folks to this post over in metaquotes that starts out with
Where did we weird humans get the idea that people respond better to modesty?.